Why Do My Friends Never Text or Call Me First

In the age of technology, we have various sources to stay connected with our loved ones. There is no need to wait to reach out to people if you want to. We are all familiar with the saying, “Unlike family, we choose our friends.” They are the ones we choose to stay around with, they are the ones we are comfortable with. Friendship doesn’t come with baggage, we choose them because we want to be around, but what if they are not around and it bothers you a little too much?

At the beginning of every relationship, whether friendship or relationship, a lot of effort is put in, but slowly the efforts begin to fade away. A good friendship is always rewarding, but a bad friendship can become toxic and destructive. The other person doesn’t even realize what he or she is making you go through. This bad feeling can make you feel suffocated in your everyday life.

Questions like “Should I be worried that my friends never text me?”, “My close friend rarely texts me or calls me first”, “My best friend never texts me first“ and “My friend is always online, but she never sees my text”, can lower your self-esteem. In this article, you will find answers to all your doubts, as this situation can be very tricky. 

How to know you are being ignored by friends?

Before you decide to confront your friend, you need to check on a few pointers if you are actually being ignored or all this is in your head. 

1. Less and less communication: 

In just a span of time, conversations that last days drop to bare minimum. It is when you know your friend is not interested in having a conversation with you. There are many ways to reach out via email, text, or social media. It is common in the new generation that the more memes you share, the closer you are in real life.

If your friend stops giving time to you, but you notice them having regular conversations with everyone else, that is when you know there is something going on with them. Try to reach out, try having a conversation with them like you used to, but if it does not help, confront them. They might have some misunderstanding, and clearing it will make your friendship return to normal. 

2. Insufficient response:

Is your friend just replying to your questions and not trying to have a conversation? Situations like when you text them and they leave you on seen or you ask them, “Hey! What’s up?” and their response is “Good or fine”. This is when they are not interested in having further conversations. If this happens once or twice, then maybe they are busy, but if this is your normal conversation, then you know you are being ignored. 

3. Physical Distancing: 

Giving each other space in any relationship is very important, but if the other person is not interested in talking to you, being in their physical presence can feel suffocating. You can feel the distance from their body language, eye contact, and initiation of the conversation. While they may be present physically, they are pulling back emotionally, becoming cold and emotionally vacant. Try to chat with other people while in a big group to keep your focus away from negative thoughts. 

4. Attention Seekers

Some people are insecure about themselves and need constant reassurance. For this, they need people to give them attention. They make them good enough and fulfilled. You, as a friend, might give them what they want either knowingly or unknowingly, but you should have some self-love reserve. This is not the time you are being ignored, just that one person is craving all the attention they can get. Talking to them about this might be a challenging task but can help you in many ways. 

5. Always Canceling Plan:

 When you are the one who is always trying to meet up and make plans for outings, and they are the ones finding reasons to excuse themselves, you know your friend is ignoring you. Try to know what is the real reason why they are canceling their plans. There might be some personal reason. Check if they are only canceling their plans with you or all their friends. 

How to encourage your friend to contact you more?

You might feel insecure in your friendship, and you might feel like the only person initiating the conversation. The feeling when you know your friend doesn’t appreciate your presence. However, there might be various reasons why your friend is trying to communicate less with you. 

Here are some ways you can encourage your friend to communicate more:

1. Be Approachable:

As we move ahead in our lives, work, family, and everything around us become an obstacle to taking time out for ourselves. Hence your friend might feel you are not readily available to them, which leads them to avoid contacting you. Make them feel welcome and ask them to come over for board games or night stays like you used to. Bringing them into your personal life can encourage them to contact you more. 

2. Be an active listener: 

When you are with your friend, be there for them and listen to them. Ask them about their day, don’t just tell but listen also. When we feel people don’t want to listen to you but treat you as a diary, they can share nothing except us in return. This can feel very suffocating and discourage your friend from contacting you. 

3. Talk about their interest

In continuation to the above point, when you tend to listen to people, you get to know about their interests. Make a point to get to know more about their interests and talk to them about them. This will definitely make your friend feel special and encourage them to make you feel special. 

4. Give them space

If they are dealing with something they want to keep personal, give them their privacy. When you are constantly together, we forget to give each other space, it is important to leave them alone. This is one reason people stop communicating. While giving them time to calm down, limit your emotional reactivity and wait for the other person to come up.

5. Light and Simple relation

At times people tend to lose interest when the other person becomes a little more needy and clingy. If they feel like this about you, they will try to create some distance from you. Giving them space and talking about their interests are two good options. Don’t put a lot of pressure on your friend with your problems and you will see them coming around again. 

Best ways to respond to being ignored by friends

1. Step backward: Your friend might just need time alone to gather their thoughts and process their feelings. Give them time, and in the meantime, focus on improving yourself. 
2. Get distracted: Find activities to engage in so that you won’t become fixated on the person who is neglecting you. 
3. Check if they are actually ignoring you: The entire situation can just be a miscommunication, or the person could be juggling other personal problems.
4. Try not to overreact: Yes, being ignored hurts, but remember that the person ignoring you might be attempting to do just that. Don’t let them enjoy the reward.
5. Communicate: Your partner can be hiding some worries they have about the connection from you. Try to communicate with them without becoming enraged or bitter.

Conclusion

Friendship is a relationship that always uplifts you and helps you get through the highs and lows of your life. But if the situation is the other way around, try to find a way to make yourself happy. Be with someone who helps you and can make you the main character in your life. Friendships are voluntary. If your friend makes you feel bad about yourself, if he or she makes you question your worth, or if you just don’t enjoy his or her company, it’s time to pull back from this toxic relationship and start investing in friendships that actually make you happy.

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